>Russell’s Corner: The 2022 World Cup and More

Posted: December 3, 2010 in world cup
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By Russell Jordan

First of all, I would like to say, that unlike much more professional writers on this blog, I am EXTREMELY bitter about USA not getting the 2022 World Cup. Yesterday I woke up, brushed my teeth and took I shower. When I got out of the shower I noticed I had a text from ESPN. The text read “United States was runner-up for 2022 world cup, lost to Qatar” If my iPhone didn’t cost more than almost everything else I own I would have thrown the thing straight across the room. I honestly can’t remember a time I was so dumbfounded. Qatar? Really? QATAR??? I could understand Australia, a decent location with a soccer history, its not great, but they have one.  BUT QATAR??? Do they even HAVE soccer stadiums? Let alone people to fill them?? Let alone alcohol to sell to these people?? Oh no, that’s right, it’s illegal.
To be honest I couldn’t point out Qatar on a map, although I know its somewhere in the Middle East. Who is going to want to travel to Qatar in possibly 120 degree summer heat? I’m not mad at Qatar, but I will laugh as they crumble under the pressure of the World Cup, I’m still gonna bank on the fact that they wont build anything in time and the Cup will be awarded to the US in about 2 years.

The corruptness of FIFA baffles me, its unimaginable that soccer, the biggest sport in the world, is probably the most corrupt.  For god sakes the announcement that Qatar would host the world cup was released by media in the Middle East OVER AN HOUR before the announcement was made, I smell fish. We all know about the Kings-Lakers Western Conference Finals and how Tim Donaghy and other refs impacted the game, while getting paid to do so. And although nothing was changed in the record books, Donaghy went to federal prison.  Sepp Bladder is going anywhere near a prison; its almost like he makes the damn laws. When I see Sepp Bladder it reminds me of a fat old king back in Roman times, you know, like the bad guy in all gladiator movies.  Sepp Bladder should take some time to think about what he’s done, get back to his roots, and maybe play some soccer… ON A BUSY FREEWAY
I just keep waiting for Ashton Kutcher to jump out and say “HAHA AMERICA! You just got punked!” But I can only dream, because that wonderful show was taken off the air a couple years ago.
I could go on for pages about how this is an abomination to FIFA, America, and Soccer as a sport. But I might have a massive coronary, so I’ll leave it at this. Hey FIFA, you’re a big fat joke, and I’m not coming to your birthday party!
Moving on…
I’m sure EVERYONE read my article last week when I said Blake Griffin was the top 3 candidates for rookie of the year in the NBA and the third for MVP. Well he’s doing nothing but making me look like I know what I’m talking about.  I honestly can’t remember seeing a player of his size with his quickness and explosiveness. Many say LeBron James has amazing intangibles for his size I’m just going to go ahead and say right now Griffin might have LeBron beat when it comes to athleticism… maybe.  Just watch this video of Blake dunking over the Knicks center 
On other rookie news DeMarcus Cousins is an idiot. He was kicked out of practice on Monday this week for mouthing off to Kings head coach Paul Westphal. This is the second incident between the two. Hey rookie heres some advice: so far you have been nothing short of underwhelming as a rookie. You dominated the post in college, SO WHAT? This is the big leagues, your not gonna be pushing around Amare Stadoumire, or The Shaqtus, right now Blake Griffin is making you look like Sean Bradley. So shut your mouth, and listen to people that actually know stuff about the NBA, like your head coach.
LeBron James returned to Cleveland last night to a chorus of not so loud boo’s. I’m assuming most fans didn’t even care enough to make noise for the guy. I don’t blame Cleveland fans for hating him, nor do I blame LeBron for leaving. It’s the way he left, “The Decision”, and that new commercial where he’s already inducted himself into the hall of fame. I got news for you LeBron, if you tear your Achilles tomorrow and never play basketball again, guess who’s not getting anywhere near the HOF? You. But LeBron of course went for 38 with 5 rebounds and 8 assists. Oh yeah all than in 3 quarters, he sat out the 4th on a count of the Heat DESTROYING the Cavs. James would have gone for 50 with a triple double had he played the 4th, no doubt, he is the greatest basketball player the NBA has ever seen.
The only real MLB news worth commenting on happens to involve my Dodgers, and a team that might have won the World Series or something like that this year. The Dodgers snatched Juan Uribe away from the Giants for 3 years and $21 million, the Giants offered to match the Dodgers offer at the last second, but Uribe declined saying he was “honored” by how much interest the Dodgers had in him. So take that Giants! You’ve got a World Series banner to hang in your stadium, and the Dodgers got JUAN URIBE! 
The Giants also signed veteran shortstop Miguel Tejada. Tejada was once one of the best shortstops in the league. Then he was busted for steroids, lying about his age, and at one point, he forgot how to speak English. Also Adam Dunn signed with the White Sox. Dunn broke another strikeout record while striking out 297 times while signing his contract.
QATAR??!?!?!? REALLY!!!!?!?!?!?!?!
In the NFL this week James Harrison was fined for 7,129,673,384,556,298,101,336th time this season. Ok, I may have exaggerated just a little. It was his fourth fine. But Harrison has given up a quite large 17% of his salary this year for fines. I gotta side with Harrison on this issue, the NFL is turning into this sissy version of football where players curtsey to each other for the game, and instead of tackling the ballet dance. Here are a few new rules I expect the NFL to impose in the next few weeks.
1; All players must jog on the field, any running will be a 15 yard penalty
2. All QB’s must wear skirts on the field
3. To tackle another player, the defender must do a complicated ballet move, then recite love poetry to the offensive player, the offensive player must then curtsey and down himself.
4. Kickers and punters will be eliminated as positions because they are too “hardcore”
5. Players cannot exceed 6 feet tall, or 200 pounds.
6. All team names must be changed to a type of flower (Roses, chrysanthemums, tulips, etc.)
7. Pads will be made of that space foam they make mattresses out of.
8. Scores will no longer be kept, both teams will be “winners” to avoid hurting anyone’s feelings.
9. Any using of an “outside voice” will result in ejection
10. After the game all players must join hands and sing Kumbaya.
And now for my random sports thoughts of the week, some which have nothing to do with sports:
Russell Westbrook is playing out of his mind for the Thunder. Which proves the point I’ve been trying to make for years, people named Russell are just better than everyone else.
I have a VCR in my house but have refused to throw it away because I feel like one day it will be worth something.
You know that guy that drives down the street with his music turned up really loud, and he has a sound system worth more than the car its in… I hate that guy.
…Qatar? Really?
The Raiders are not back. As long as any of the 3 QB’s they have on the roster right now, are starting, they will not be back.
The NFC West shouldn’t be allowed a playoff spot, its probably currently the worst division in the history of football… my Cowboys would still have a chance in that division.
The SF Giants will not repeat as World Series champions, in fact, they wont make the playoffs next year, that’s a guarantee.
Well that’s it for this week.

And remember kids,  Rome wasn’t built in a day, but THE BEARS ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE                                                               

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Comments
  1. Rob says:

    >Honestly, I say that if Qatar can't get their crap together in time, that when FIFA comes calling the US to bail them out, we give them the finger.

  2. >Yah, give them the finger…….and then accept hosting the World Cup because that would be awesome.-Evan

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