>Thursday Lunch: GOING TO PHILLAAAAAAAY!!!

Posted: February 18, 2010 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,

>   That’s right! Just like Marshall Eriksen, we’re goin’ to Phillaay! And of course, by we are, I mean the US National team. Sorry to disappoint all of our loyal readers (my bad Mom), but I digress. On May 29th, USA will play a friendly against Turkey just 4 days after a game against the Czech Republic at a location to be announced. Honestly, this is great news. After the debacle that was the last send off series, with games against Morocco, Venezuela, and Latvia, I am glad the USSF got it right this time. Although neither team made the World Cup this year, Turkey was a Euro 2008 semifinalist and the Czechs boast European stars such as Arsenal’s Tomáš Rosický and Chelsea’s Petr Čech. Perhaps the US team will be adequately prepared this time.

In other news:

   Benny Feilhaber is out 10 days with cartilage damage in his ankle. It looks as if he will miss the Netherlands Friendly as so many will.

   Maurice Edu plays his first full 90 minutes since the last SPL season, no one noticed. I mean does anyone ever watch the SPL? I mean people complain about MLS being a bad quality league, but the SPL is like MLS, except that there are only two teams in the league. Maybe Edu will get the start against the Netherlands which would be his first USA start in….I can’t remember the last time he started to be honest. Also, DaMarcus Beasley played in the reserve game the day before (I assume to build fitness). At least he scored a goal against AYSO quality players.

   Landon Donovan had a quiet game as Everton beat Sporting Lisbon 2-1 in the first leg of their round of 32 Europa League meeting. Everton looked the better of the team for most of the game but Sporting got a late penalty. Landon did not see much of the ball but when he did, he didn’t really do too much to convince that he should be getting more of it. He did play 90 minutes however.

   I was so sure that Stuart Holden would get his first action in the EPL yesterday against Wigan; however, he failed to make the bench. This is a confusing one to me, I’m sure he will get playing time soon enough though.

   Finally, and this is the shocker of the week, Freddy Adu scored again. He also picked up an assist while playing 66 minutes in a 3-0 win in the Greek Cup. I believed they advanced to the semifinals because of him. As much as I don’t like Freddy, which segues well into my new feature coming up next, he is playing well at the right time. Could he earn a World Cup spot?

   Now for something new: starting today and every Thursday, I will be having a top 10 list on something completely random in soccer. This will be much like Letterman’s top 10 lists, but mine will be funny. Now for my first list:

My top 10 least favorite American players of all time (all but number one fluctuates from time to time)

10.    Brett Favre – Just kidding. I know he doesn’t play soccer and that is why there will be two #10’s on this list. Although I do hate him, I just want to say his name because a certain someone (who I will never mention by name) refuses to mention Brett Favre by name on this blog.

The real 10.    Eric Wynalda – Yes, I know “Waldo” with 34 goals is USA’s second leading goal scorer of all time. I also know that he scored possibly the nicest American World Cup goal of all time in 1994 vs. Sweden. Just like I also know that he played in three World Cups: an incredible achievement. Despite all of that, the following shows why I don’t like him. Within minutes of being subbed into the 1990 World Cup, he got red carded for elbowing an opposing player in the face. When you go to the World Cup, you need players who don’t make these kinds of mistakes. Also, for being such a great goal scorer, he never showed it on the biggest stage, scoring just a single goal in eight World Cup games or in MLS finishing with just 34 goals in 8 seasons, hardly a good record.

9.    Pablo Mastroeni – Has there ever been anyone less skilled to play for USA in the modern era (1990-present)? If there has, I have not seen them. He played in two World Cups and just basically fouled people. He has never scored for the national team and it is clearly his fault that USA did not get more than a point against Italy in 2006. Up a man and tied going into half time, he made quite possibly the dumbest challenge I have ever seen. He went studs up on Pirlo in an unimportant area of the field and was rightfully sent off. Instead of going into half time with a man advantage and tied, he evened the numbers and made it easier for Italy. As I said with Wynalda, you cannot do this on the world’s biggest stage.

8.    John Harkes – Not only is he the worst American Soccer commentator ever not named Balboa, but he is one of the biggest reasons why USA failed in 1998. Harkes broke the bro code and touched uglies with Eric Wynalda’s wife, leading to his dismissal from the team. We could have really used him in that tournament and without him, we were doomed to a last place finish. It always surprises me when a professional athlete, who can pretty much get any ass he wants (not to mention is married), hooks up with a teammates spouse. What a disgrace. He also picked Uruguay to make the World Cup semis. Let’s see how that one goes.

7.    Steve Sampson – Yes he never played for USA but that is how much I don’t like him. I am putting him on this list because of the 3-6-1. I don’t even feel like explaining this one, if you want to know how much he sucked you can A) ask anyone who knows anything about USA soccer or B) read his Wikipedia article or C) just not waste your time.

6.    Eddie Johnson – Ah the grown ass man himself. He was the talk of the country when he scored eight goals in his first eight internationals. Sadly, if you do the math on his 39 appearance and 12-goal career record that means that he scored just four goals in his next 31 appearances. He seems like a good guy and that is why I hate to put him on this list, but he has let me down faster and harder than any other player I have seen.

5.    Freddy Adu – Not only is he one of the most annoying sports personalities, but why does everyone still talk about him? He scored a goal like once every eight games in MLS. He never developed and never matured into the player everyone thought he was going to be, and what does he do? He makes excuses. I hate excuses almost as much as I hate player #1 on this list.

4.    Arturo Alvarez – He wines about playing time. He dives. He is lazy. He complains to refs. He does not work well as a team player. He has extraordinary skill. Wow, I just described the Mexican National team. I don’t care that he plays for El Salvador because El Salvador sucks.

3.    Josh Wolff – In my book, Josh Wolff has played two good games in his career. One was against Mexico in 2001. One was against Mexico in 2002. Everyone has been on this guy’s nuts in MLS saying how great he is. Sure, he has 73 MLS goals, but guess how many playoff goals he has? If you guess 10, you would be wrong. He has one. Going into his 10th year and with 13 playoff appearances, he has one playoff goal. He was part of a great 1998 Chicago Fire squad that won MLS cup and a decent 2004 Kansas City team that lost to the best team in MLS History (if you don’t know who that is you are reading the wrong blog). How does a man this highly touted have just one playoff goal? And the worst part is the one playoff goal that he did score was a penalty kick. Every time Josh Wolff used to play for USA, I would cringe. He is possibly the most overrated player in the history of MLS. Please retire.

2.    Wells Thompson – 71 games. Two goals. Three assists. No, soccer is not all about stats, but would you not expect more from an attacking midfielder in MLS? He shoots when he should pass, he passes when he should cross, and he crosses when he should shoot (if that is even possible). He almost reminds me of 2006 World Cup Landon Donovan but way worse and much more annoying. I always did not like him as a player but the tipping point was last year when he tried to fight Ben Olsen. You don’t mess with Ben. Ben promptly scored a header over Thompson’s “marking”. You have to know that when Ben Olsen scores a goal over you, you are terrible.

1.    Giuseppe Rossi – I don’t even want to talk about this one.

Because I did not want to end on a sad note like that here is this, just because I can.

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Comments
  1. Flyingoose says:

    >i pretty much shit my pants reading this post, that's how funny it was.

  2. >Brain Fart on Eric Wynalda though, he scored against Switzerland not Sweden.

  3. Flyingoose says:

    >oh, and you forgot to mention that the right foot of Arturo Alvarez is pretty much only for standing on…

  4. >I don't think he even stands on it. That's how bad he is with it

  5. >But you can get away with that if your left footed, just look at any left winger in the mexican league

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